A Client Story
I
Jeanette worked hard to have a meaningful personal and professional life. Looking back, she marveled on how she managed to raise two well-adjusted sons, remain married to the same goof ball of a husband, and could still look forward to going into work each day with gratitude and enthusiasm.
Jeanette had originally graduated from college with a degree in forestry. But after struggling to find work relating to her degree, she found herself working in the family business. Her father had started a heavy equipment business when he got home from the war. Never one to play favorites even with his own kids, her dad had insisted that Jeanette work her way up to VP of the company. He took pride in the fact that she knew the business from the ground up.
Eventually her dad allowed her to take part in management, and to make decisions that would grow the business beyond its humble small-town position into the strong regional spot it now occupied. Her father passed away unexpectedly last year and unfortunately, though he was a sweet and hardworking man who groused about the government, paperwork, and having to deal with bankers and lawyers, he died without a will and clear succession plan in place for the family business.
II
Sitting across from her brother Sam and his new wife she could feel the tension in the room. Jeanette’s head ached from the knot she constantly carried in her jaw and she hadn’t slept well in months. Even though she was now president of the company and had half of the shares, her brother had the other half. Sam had no interest in the day-to-day operations of the family business or even whether it carried on after their dad died. He was on his third wife, and trouble and debt seemed to follow behind no matter which of the many directions he went in. Jeanette hoped she could salvage her relationship with her brother while protecting the integrity and value of the business. She needed to get Sam out and away where he couldn’t inflict his usual set of problems. She loved her dad, but it was hard not to get resentful at the mess that was up to her to fix.
III
For her own sons, one of whom had joined the family’s business, as well as her other son who had a more artistic path, Jeanette resolved that she wouldn’t leave them to have to puzzle over and fight about things that she could deal with now. It occurred to her that this was a gift every bit as valuable as money and property. The unexpected loss of her father, and with it the emotional and legal chaos that threatened to overwhelm her, drove home the fact that time always gets away from you.
Not Yet An Attorney
I
Many years before I became a lawyer, I decided to try to help a family member on my wife’s side. This person’s spouse had just passed away. Emotionally he was in very rough shape, not only about the death and loss of his longtime companion, but also because before she passed away, his wife had made significant changes to her estate plan in secret. He was caught completely off-guard when he found out after her death. I wanted to help in any way I could, thinking that I had enough intelligence and research skills on my own. I didn’t offer to help because I had any familiarity with California state law concerning probate or property law, I stepped in because I really thought I could make a difference.
II
I remember walking into the court proceeding with him, unsure about what an estate was exactly, other than the name that is used when talking about someone deceased. The family member was of the opinion that an attorney wasn’t required and that I could speak on his behalf.
I had hoped as long as I could speak clearly and without an excess of emotion I could convince the judge that what his wife had done with her interest in their jointly titled property and without his knowledge, was somehow wrong. When the probate judge granted this family member an opportunity to speak, he quickly requested I be allowed to talk on his behalf. The judge was tolerant and willing to give me a few minutes to plead his cause. I remember standing up, my throat tight and filled with gravel. I was shaking with nervousness.
III
I managed to squeak out some lines about how the secret transfer went against the spirit of the marriage and was done without consent when immediately the judge stopped and corrected me, stating that the proceeding only concerned what the law allowed or didn’t allow. He furthered admonished me that though I might have meant well, I couldn’t assume that things should just work out according to the wishes of one side. While the judge was lecturing me, I desperately wanted a shell to retreat into like a turtle.
During that moment I felt I had absolutely nothing to contribute and that I had let my side of the family down for not understanding my own limitations. I was deeply embarrassed as the judge politely wrapped up his lecture while the other attorneys and parties looked at their watches, eagerly waiting for their own cases to be heard.
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